Is the glass half full or half empty? Does it matter? After struggling with infertility for many years- some may wonder if that question is even relevant. When you have wanted something so badly that you can almost taste it- and been so devastated by the loss or the lack of that thing that it physically hurts- you may want to break the glass- the plate and any other item laying around. But giving up is the only way we can be assured that things will never change- and then even that not always. I remember feeling the worst about my own infertility struggle during the winter. The weather is cold and skies are grayish brown many days so it may feel like the sun (and possibly the son or daughter) will never appear. As I pondered what to write about in this post- I heard a quote from former four star general and former secretary of state Colin Powell that affected me in such a profound way that I meditated on it for an entire day.
Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier
- Colin Powell, former Four Star General, former US Attorney General
I thought the words sounded hopeful but had no idea what the statement meant. What is perpetual optimism and what is a force multiplier and how do they have any thing at all to do with the pursuit of parenthood? I visited my in house scholar (i.e. Siri) and consulted with my favorite expert in minutia- Google- and learned that perpetual optimism is defined as "never ending hopefulness and confidence". I then researched the definition of "force multiplier" and learned that it refers to a tool that helps you improve/ enhance/strengthen your work to produce better results. In the same way that a jack hammer helps one drill through concrete more efficiently than a hammer by itself- being optimistic about becoming a parent -despite your history- is a tool to help you bring home your baby. Believing and acting on that belief is another way of demonstrating faith and that completely resonated with me. That said- this commitment to being hopeful doesn't change the fact that infertility is hard- or that it is not fair - or that there are real causes that may not make sense- or that the cost of treatment and or adoption may seem overwhelming. But it does change the final outcome- at least in ones mind- from an "if" to a "when" and that for some is a revelation.
So today- I ask you- can you choose perpetual optimism? Is that too hard given the weight of everything you are going through in this wet cold season? If you will- I can say with confidence- that at some point- just as the skies will clear and the weather will get warmer- if you do not surrender your faith and if you remain open to all the possibilities that exist to becoming a parent- you will OVERCOME and bring home your little miracle.